I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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