would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
