i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
His hands were made for my vagina.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
