Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
