you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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