I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
