then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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