he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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