I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
