Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
