i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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