i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
