worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
