Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
