I hate all girls vehemently.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize
