we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You dont lie about slip and slides
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
