would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
