You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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