I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
