I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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