i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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