she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
