Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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