So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
