What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
