it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
they need to just BURY HIM!
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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