I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Please, let me fuck your mom
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
