I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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