my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
