True but thats because hes a fetus.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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