Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
