if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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