I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
