Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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