Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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