break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
there's paper in my vomit.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
