she was so not down for the gang bang
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Sorry my hands just texted you
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
