Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
