I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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