there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
