just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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