sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
