my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
MIDGETS
????
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
