its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Actions speak louder than pants.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
