Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
