Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I have aggressive nipples.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
