Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
