Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
