Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
