no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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