remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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