who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
